all generalizations are false
firecrystal
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit firecrystal's Xanga Site!

Birthday: 4/19/1900
Gender: Female


Interests: photoshop, music, asshole, reading, fencing, fire, and not answering ppl when they tell me that they just know i blaze and party every night
Expertise: sounding like i'm freakin 5 when i sneeze
Occupation: Student


Message: message me


Member Since: 2/21/2004

SubscriptionsSites I Read
bio_weapon
dum_jenius
alffla
messyjul
Pantsless_guy
chickenwingshan
Rxen
Topher1287
divine_ashes
DahliciouSlutface
lianne123
lianne1234
WhiskeysHour
TheXangaTeam
brasileaira
kid1412
xiaojen
faerienostalgia
slovenc
aegir
Clubbed_to_Death
BronxBaller985
XxemoscreamxX
neozero69

Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site


Friday, February 16, 2007

a virgin's worst nightmare

a virgin girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that

after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex

before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and

sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents

house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,

with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your

father was a pharmacist."


Thursday, October 05, 2006

so i miss ppl

which is unexpected since i know i'll be seeing you in either ny or hk within the year.

new things learned in college:
1) pool. kinda.
2) knitting. very very slowly
3) how to clean a room. still haven't figured out how to keep the room clean
4) how to mourn real chinese food
5) insomnia
6) studying. minimally.
7) how to write a solid, coherent essay. barely
8) correct grammar. very shakily
9) how to use my mac. improving every day.
10) the difference between geese and ducks. i'm going for cicadas and grasshoppers next.
11) 'bitch', 'stinky girl' and 'stinky boy' in slavic
12) jewish holidays. only about 1/3 of the school is jewish
13) boggle
14) how to climb trees
15) the feel of nature. grass, trees, obscenely big sky. the works.

oh the personal growth


Friday, July 28, 2006

How You Life Your Life
You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.
You say whatever is on your mind. Other people's reactions don't phase you.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.


Friday, April 28, 2006

Pondering

Part I:
now that the brandeis vs. ubc thing is over, i had an attack of brandeis vs skidmore

brandeis? skidmore?

brandeis puts a large portion of its frosh in triplets (those fuckers). damn this digression from its rich white jewish rep.

skidmore built a new building. frosh won't be in triplets. and it has a new tandoori oven (mmmmm bread). and ducks that waddle around campus come spring.


it's hard to choose when important things are taken into consideration


Part II (for UNIS kids):
eng sent me a movie of williams "acting". WTF WAS GOING ON? was she channeling kafka? a dog/bull crossbreed?

someone needs to email me.


current mood: absolutely fascinatedly amused in a genteelly horrified kinda way


Wednesday, April 26, 2006

annie wants pics.

annie wants pics even without her, especially if they include teachers getting dunked, the reactions to their staff room, and the yr 12s. actually, just all the shit we did in general. and pics including whoever's reading this of course.

annie wants pics now.




Next 5 >>