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firecrystal
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read my profile
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Birthday: 4/19/1900 Gender: Female
Interests: photoshop, music, asshole, reading, fencing, fire, and not answering ppl when they tell me that they just know i blaze and party every night Expertise: sounding like i'm freakin 5 when i sneeze Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/21/2004
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| a virgin girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and
sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm
so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
* * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist."
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| which is unexpected since i know i'll be seeing you in either ny or hk within the year.
new things learned in college: 1) pool. kinda. 2) knitting. very very slowly 3) how to clean a room. still haven't figured out how to keep the room clean 4) how to mourn real chinese food 5) insomnia 6) studying. minimally. 7) how to write a solid, coherent essay. barely 8) correct grammar. very shakily 9) how to use my mac. improving every day. 10) the difference between geese and ducks. i'm going for cicadas and grasshoppers next. 11) 'bitch', 'stinky girl' and 'stinky boy' in slavic 12) jewish holidays. only about 1/3 of the school is jewish 13) boggle 14) how to climb trees 15) the feel of nature. grass, trees, obscenely big sky. the works.
oh the personal growth | | |
| | How You Life Your Life | You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is. You say whatever is on your mind. Other people's reactions don't phase you. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable. |
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| Part I:
now that the brandeis vs. ubc thing is over, i had an attack of brandeis vs skidmore
brandeis? skidmore?
brandeis puts a large portion of its frosh in triplets (those fuckers). damn this digression from its rich white jewish rep.
skidmore built a new building. frosh won't be in triplets. and it has a new
tandoori oven (mmmmm bread). and ducks that waddle around campus come spring.
it's hard to choose when important things are taken into consideration
Part II (for UNIS kids):
eng sent me a movie of williams "acting". WTF WAS GOING ON? was she
channeling kafka? a dog/bull crossbreed?
someone needs to email me.
current mood: absolutely fascinatedly amused in a genteelly horrified kinda way
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| annie wants pics.
annie wants pics even without her, especially if they include teachers
getting dunked, the reactions to their staff room, and the yr 12s.
actually, just all the shit we did in general. and pics including
whoever's reading this of course.
annie wants pics now.
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